The Start of Our Roller-Coaster Ride

"Depends on who you're going through them with, 

Ups and Downs can be quite a fun, romantic, 

and adventurous journey"

I came up with this tonight as i got off the phone with B.

I praise God that He would put someone so special in my life like him..

I'd like to take this chance to share my story with B and how God's favor has been tremendously poured into our relationship.

Okay, so..

At the start of our relationship, no, even before we started going out, we 

knew that if we are going to go ahead with what we feel

towards each other, it's not gonna be like a ride to the 

country side on a sunny day..

We both knew that this things would lead to a crazy roller-coaster ride on a pretty "shit" weather like Melbourne, 1 min 30 C and sunny,

and the next minute would be -5 C and thunder storm..

I still remember the day he asked me to go out with him, he didn't bullshit and say some nice flowery words,

he said specifically, "Are you ready to jump on the roller-coaster with me?"

The obvious reason why this all gonna be hard is because of our culture 

difference, and for those who aren't Asian,

please don't take this wrongly..

My family has always been concern that by putting me in Australia i would date an Australian. and you know what's funny?

The fact is i've always had a feeling that i could never date an Asian guy, let alone a guy from my hometown.. LOL

But back to the story, when first my sister knew about this boy i started to see after Bel and Simon introduced me to him at church,

she started to get concern.. She warned me over and over 

and over and over again about how this is just gonna be a sweet little

invitation my dad's RAGE... so i said, look, I'm only going for a cup of coffee, nothing serious yet..

So after a while, we started to talk more, and had couple more dates, and turned out that this guy really turned my head,

and my world completely up side down!! Swoop me off my feet just like ("click") that..

Right then and there, we both know that this thing might lead to something serious..

To be honest, i know I'm young and i probably don't know anything about having a boyfriend since that promise that i made

bout how i wasn't gonna have a boyfriend until i turn 18.. But there's something in him that makes me soooo very comfortable

in being myself, being open and completely honest about everything, and to feel secure that he would be there standing still

even when the tide is too high and i couldn't hold myself together anymore..

But there was nothing i could do about it because 3 days after i felt that i had to go back to Indonesia for my "Merry" little Christmas

holiday for about 2 months..

The whole time i was in Indonesia, me and B could only communicate through text Msgs or Skype... i got broke from that just for

your information.. lolol

But it was good, the fact that we couldn't see each other physically makes our way of knowing each other and evaluate our

feelings more real. 

I told my mom about this "friend" of mine that i've been talking a lot to every night, literally, i was crapping myself..

but surprisingly she said calmly "Well, you guys are only friends right?", she didn't even tell me to stop talking to him like how i would

imagine... but she knew that something was going on, and i knew that she wasn't gonna approve this relationship..

I went with it.. we prayed almost every night, due to our internet cost, prayed for us, and God's favor upon our decisions, if He was

to bless this relationship.

And my own personal prayer every night was,

"God, if this is not what You want, then don't let anything lead me to it, or even fall to the temptation for desiring such thing"

So i went back to Perth on the 20th of January to surprise him.. and the next day he asked me the "roller-coaster" question..

and i said "YES!"

For the first time in my life, i felt like that 3 letters meant sooo much 

and somehow symbolized a big step for me.

We both then kept it under the radar just for my sake.. Then i started to invited him to my place to meet my sister and my brother in law,

and invited him for dinner with my Mom, 2 aunties, sister, and brother.. My aunties LOVED him!! couldn't have enough of him..

Hahahaha... But my mom was still not happy about it at all..

I kept my faith and kept on praying to Big Daddy about it..

Long story short, B started to spend more time with my sister and brother, and guess what, they get along just fine..

They really don't know how much that means to me..

Then came the scariest moment in my life.. My dad on Skype asked me, "so are you going out with Michael?" and i said "yes"

(i was trembling).. and basically he said that its best for me to end it.. i didn't say anything..

The next 2 weeks, he asked me again.. "Are you still seeing him?" and i said "YES", confidently.. and Praise GOD!! he seemed fine about it..

He didn't seem to try to break it off anymore.. i said to the Lord, "Lord, you are the BEST!!"

Clearly i called B right after i got off the phone with my dad.. i said to him.. "Our prayers is heard... He never forsakes us..."

So here i am now, 5 months with B already... going through all kinds of Ups and Downs.. but you know what's awesome?

He never once stepped back!

See when i first went out with him, i was scared that he would be the man that doesn't seem to care about women's feelings,

don't want to hear anything about it, thinks that he's right, he's right, he's right, and i'm wrong..

All these things i got from a not very good role model that i got..

But Praise God!, he is nowhere near it!! and hey, i'm not saying that he's perfect, geez-a-loo nobody is perfect..

But you know what, every time we have arguments, and i get quiet, he always wants me to tell him what's going on in my head,

what i'm feeling, and stuff like that.. And to top it off.. when i said to him that this is how i feel, i think you need to be more bla bla bla,

you need change this bla bla bla.. he'd say, 

"Okay I'm sorry babe, i will work on that..." or like 

"I'm sorry that i make you feel that way babe.."

What a privilege for me to have such a man of God like him...

One of the lessons that i learned from my story is that there's no good on rushing things.. when you put your life on God's hands,

my owh my.. believe me you're only going to get the best of the best from Him...

Also i learned that by declaring your faith and ask for God's favor and blessing, and more importantly never gets tired of asking for it,

is just nothing but WORTH IT!! God is good everyone.. 

He is good, and He knows what's best for you...

HHMMPPPHHH

Holidays.. finally here!!

i remember 2 weeks ago i couldn't stop thinking about the first monday of my holidays.. now that im in my 2nd week, i just cant figure out what to do anymore...

-> so i tried some exercises with my new "trainer" aka Michael.. only last for 1 day.. but i still do the routine everyday tho.. haha

-> i helped out my brother-in law's Photo4Life pre-wed photoshoot as a make up artist for Bobby and Vonny [such a delightful couple they are.. =)]

-> then, i started helping out friends from CCC Crawley playing basketball every Saturdays at Lakeside..

-> i watched "Year One" and "Transformer 2" both in one week

-> i sent out lots and lots of resumes to many places already.. but none of them got back to me "yet"

Right now, i figure, i should really do something productive.. maybe like... accompanying Mel while she's house-sitting for a week.. but geez-a-loo the house is in Hillarie (or Hilarry) i dont know..

and now that im finally in my holidays i dont seem to have the drive to even go to the city and hang out.. "window shopping" that is.. hahah... but no.. i seem to like hanging out at home, watching tv shows and just chill.. i think thats probably the effect i get from studying too hard for 3 weeks in a row.. LOL

I've been trying to get my new "Theme Hospital" that i just downloaded from int to start working.. i've done all the DosBox thing but i just cant seem to mount them up.. dont know why.. so if anybody has a tip on how to get these games on "exe" format works with DosBox on Mac please dont hesitate to nudge me with a comment.. =)

Im bored bored bored.. cant really bother B coz he's got some finance work from the school and job interview at 2pm.."Lord, i pray that You will anoint him with Your wisdom and presence wherever he goes, whatever he says and do because i believe that You have saved the best plan for him.."

Well, i gotta go and take my sister to the city now, so "so long"... until next time.. =)

Love , A.Ong

God bless...

Interesting views

THIS WORLD IS SO INTERESTING  

PEOPLE, next time you go out on vacation or maybe just a quick stop on petrol stations to bump on their toilets,  

look carefully on the signs they put up... 

you'll be amazed and amused how some people actually have the guts to pour out and express what they feel towards the public... =)  

1.

My Goodness i just remember i do have a blog!!!

LOLZ!!! this feels really weird...

but hey.. things been going great... just to fill the gap from last year, lets review what happened in between:

1. Went back to indo for 2 months

2. Got back to Perth, 20th of January

3. Got myself a lovely boyfriend the very next day!!


4. WAAPA started again

5. Been gigging a lot


6. Done 5 new originals

7. Preparing for Recital

SUCKS!!

i really want to quit WAAPA!!!

ENSEMBLE IS SHIT!! THEY NEVER RESPECT ME!!!
i really want to kill them, except for Marty and Sean Little.. they're okay..

i mean please, my bass player is 22 yo. HE SHOULD GROW UP!!!

whats worse... my drummer is a christian, he plays at church, and someone told me he's a pastor's son!! but God have mercy on him, he doesn't even reflect any christianity in his manner and behavior. what a shame

i HATE waapa... hate it hate it hate it hate it

too much to bear

lately i feel like being who i am right now is not really being the real me
trying verryy hard to be in the same level as the people surrounding me

i feel like im forcing myself constantly to be where they are right now. Their manner, their way of thinking, their goals, and their way of enjoying life. As a matter of fact, i dont even know what i want anymore. People inject me with all these dreams that they can see through me, but they really dont realize that they Do Not give me even a tiny little space to breathe, grab the chance, and think about it, and evenmore approve them.

Seems to me like, i dont live the life that normal kids my age lives. which sometimes can be a flattering and grateful thing and sometimes it just sucks. i spose it seems to turns out sucks everytime i feel like i CAN'T handle the pressure anymore. My faith VS my dreams, My friends VS my culture, My lifestyle and environment VS my family, and least, My responsibility VS my age.

i dont intend this to be an act of trying to get out od my responsibilty and winging all bout it, no.
i just want it all out. because seriously none of the people that are close to me are considering it seriously. Forget about the time they could spare to refresh me, THEY DON'T EVEN ASK..

my parents? yes.. they are an excellent parents, they have money to support me (praise God), they have their plans for my future or should i better call it my LIFE? either way.. they've planned it all, wayyy before i was born. which is SUPER, just like any other ASIAN parents would do. But really, since the day i went in to Kindergarten, up until now that i'm in uni doing MUSIC (EXCELLENT!!) they have never ONCE ask me if i'm happy with it, or at least feels comfortable doing what it is that they tell me to do. Well thanks to them i grew up and still am growing up as a tough broad. You can throw and bang my head on the wall while i'm trying to reach my goal, but hopefully i WILL stand still. unless you literally bang my head.

i wonder if there will come the time for me to say "Finally... it's finish"
haha.. i imagine how Jesus felt when He said "It Is FINISH" it must've been a HUGE relieve....

the journey that i'm going through right now is not that pleasing.. most likely i will fail my subjects this semester, and hope i will not have to hear anything that has the word MUSIC or JAZZ in it anymore... hahah
i think thats because i just realize that the motivation that i have since the start of uni is not enough. My motivation to graduate from WAAPA was to prove myself that i can do it. but apparently that ain't enough... funny.. people were like.. "you just need to focus and try harder... well here's a tale..
"welcome to WAAPA... let me give you a quick tour around the WAAPA life, you see those names you see on the offices' doors? yes they are the people that will pin your bones to the floor, and crush all your talent until you have enough of it you dont even want to use it anymore... All the best, i'm late to class.. have a good day..."
LOL

well, i'm done for today... there's still piles and piles of cases in my head, but i figure i'm actually wasting my time writing this stupid blog while i'm suppose to be "studying" for my "impossible to pass" exams...
no seriously i think blogs are stupid... journals, whatever you wanna call it... but then again, it might just be my "temporary comment" considering i'm not in a very good mood tonight obviously.

ciao

its unbearable

why all of a sudden these dreams just came back to me???!!!! whyyyy.....

i just cudnt handle this anymore... its freaking me out... doesnt help me get over it at all..